Ok, people, let’s try and be mature about this, since this episode the Film Pigs are going to be talking about Adult Films and the stuff that you see in them: hoo-hahs, peeners, melons, booftassles, sweaty groips and such. This is a SERIOUS discussion, so we insist that your pants remain fastened until the end of the podcast. Other fun includes Movie Jail, a Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, Tonn Slingdog’s Straight To DVD Corner, games, and more!
This time, on a very special episode of The Film Pigs Podcast:
- 0:00:00 – Intro
- 0:00:48 – Movie News
- 0:03:36 – Host Todd Anderson presents this episode’s theme: Adult Films
- 0:24:47 – Stephen Skelton presents a case to send someone to Movie Jail
- 0:32:26 – The Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading
- 0:35:31 – Tonn Slingdog’s Straight To DVD Corner
- 0:39:45 – A Cold Reading from The Devil In Miss Jones
- 0:46:38 – 3-Second Porn Titles
- 0:58:20 – The Bottom Five: Worst Movies About Porn
- 0:59:12 – A Moment Of Positivity
- 1:00:22 – Outro
Butt Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Guys! (I’d be kind of surprised if somebody hasn’t done this one already, frankly.)
DAMN IT! I find it impossible to think when Todd’s counting out loud.
The “legit porn” movie Stee’s talking about that came out a few years ago is actually called Nine Songs, directed by Michael Winterbottom. 69 (heh) minutes of two people seeing rock shows at London’s Brixton Academy, interspersed with explicit scenes of them going at it like jackrabbits (and a few of the guy working in Antarctica, for some reason). Some of the sex is actually pretty watchable, but the movie’s too high-minded for it’s own good. Almost all of the dialogue was improvised to tell the story of a relationship from start to finish, which is good in its intent, but also completely incoherent.
A very well-deserving movie-jail sentence in this episode for sure!
Some of my porn titles:
Transgender: Drag of the Moon
The Hung Boner Parts Two
Sex-Men: Fist Ass
Choking Smurfs
Outstanding titles.
Another excellent podcast. Your talk about that porn scifi movie made me think of Cafe Flesh, don’t know if anyone saw that.
My favorite Porn Parody title is still Hannah Does Her Sisters.
According to Wikipedia, Richard Belzer is in Cafe Flesh (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caf%C3%A9_Flesh)
Hannah Does Her Sisters has an IMDb entry (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139310/)
I’m depending on Todd and Steve make a Steven Seagal show happen.
The game for that could be “Three Word Seagal Titles” in which the host gives a plot outline for a film and the contestants have to come up with a three word title for it!
Excellent game idea.
The problem with 9 Songs wasn’t the sex. It was the fact that there was no story. It was just a vague reminiscence of this rather dull relationship the guy had before he went to Antarctica or wherever. Also, the casual coke snorting turned me off.
I was surprised that I liked 50 First Dates because I don’t much like Sandler’s movies or Barrymore’s movies. But Zohan was seriously one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. That alone should send him to the hoosegow.
God, I love this podcast.
The casual coke-snorting was the only thing I liked. I mean, plus all the fucking and stuff.
Since this was a porn-themed episode, I’m surprised you didn’t at least make a case for throwing Sly Stallone in the penn. (Seriously, did everyone just forget that he did porn?) Were the new Rocky and Rambo movies really that good? Or did the statutes of limitations expire on Daylight, Demolition Man, Oscar, Judge Dredd, and Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot?
I thought about Stallone but ultimately gave him a pass because I sincerely enjoyed RAMBO and THE EXPENDABLES, and I’m hoping his revival of un-ironic, ultra-violent movies continues. Also, I can name more Stallone movies I like than Sandler movies.
I didn’t forget! I mentioned it in the podcast! You might have missed it because the Steves are constantly talking over me, the rude bastards.
You have my sympathy. I have much experience with people talking over me during podcasts.
Hey! I fucking love Demolition Man and will defend its honour to the death. Well, maybe not death, but if it’s on TV, I’d rewatch it.