Good Lord, where to start on this one? The Wolfman is a big-budget remake of a classic horror film that incorporates all of the slow, clunky nonsense of the original and adds a tired Anthony Hopkins, a strangely non-compelling Benicio Del Toro, that computer-elf guy from them nerd movies, and Emily Blunt’s sideboob. The end result is not quite the “magic” you’d expect.
The most fascinating part of The Wolfman, if you can manage to keep yourself awake by repeatedly stabbing yourself in the thigh with an icepick, is Del Toro’s crazy choice of acting like he’s covered in syrup. Syrup that’s laced with horse tranquilizers. He buries his normal high-intensity so deeply, that when he finally turns into the wolfman…well, you’ve already fallen asleep and will miss all the Act III gore.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The Film Pigs watched the Unrated Director’s Cut from the Blu-ray disc for this commentary. No, we don’t know why.
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
Hurrah, a… ‘classic’ horror movie in the spirit of the season!
The description sounds uh… amazing. I somehow passed this one by. I can’t imagine why. Even the commercials for it looks sleepy.
Tired of seeing the full moon? Then watch The Wolfman: Your sleepy-time cure for insomnia.
I wasn’t kidding when I said this movie put me to sleep the first time I tired to watch it.
I figured out what ‘The Grudge’ is, by the way.
It’s putting you to sleep for your dogged determination to try and follow all three US films. The second one made infinitely less sense than the first. And then the third was actually rated R and had some gore in it. Not good gore, mind you, but it was certainly more violent than the first two. Lot of throat injuries, mostly. Biting out of, stabbing into, snapping, and so on.
I’d recommend it instead of Wolfman next time you need sleep. Shorter.
I love how the DVD Commentaries have turned into the pigs turning on a movie and 4 minutes in just completely stop watching it but keep recording anyway. Not that theres anything really wrong with that.
To be fair, there’s not a lot in this particular to hold your attention. Especially if you act like three-year-olds as we do.
Oh Christ.
“I’m pretty confident I’m gonna like, evacuate a gallon of diarrhea into my Civic and just like, drive off the freeway.” I nearly choked to death on my pizza at that part. Because I got a mental image of it and I couldn’t stop laughing. That whole part was fucking hilarious.
The reality was merely terrible, terrible heartburn. And I would imagine, imitation cheese-related cancer in the near future.
I think that goes without saying. Anything frozen with fake cheese will cause cancer. Great Uncle Louie died after having too many Red Barons one summer! All he gurgled before keeling over in his barcalounger was something about helping Snoopy win.
I kind of feel sorry for the one guy who downloads this commentary hoping for a informative, fact-filled analysis of the movie.
If anybody looks at the header of our web site and is surprised by the juvenile content then I question their ability to think critically.
Got to admit: I just about bailed on this one about 40 minutes in when you left the film and looked like you’d never come back. But the ending was just about worth it.
Considering we did the exact same thing, but during the actual commentary, I can’t really blame you.