Goodbye to the man behind the curtain of many childhood delights and terrors.
Tag Archives: Horror
Commentary #28 – Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
It’s a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs return to make everyone’s holiday season a little brighter. And what better way to celebrate the Christian / Jewish / Muslim / Pagan / Pastafarian season than with a movie about a homicidal Santa Claus? Answer: THERE IS NO BETTER WAY!
Silent Night, Deadly Night takes us back to a simpler time, when ghostbusting was king and traversing the space-time continuum in modified DeLoreans was commonplace. In the early 80s, no one thought twice about a dusty old nun whipping two naked teenagers with a leather belt, or of wearing cheap sweaters with no undershirts or bras. We were too busy fighting Communism when, in retrospect, we should have been paying more attention to drunken, murderous Santa Clauses. Happy holidays!
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Happy Belated Halloween
I am pleased to report that I have unearthed another fun straight-to-video horror experience in Trick ‘r Treat, a feature that did well at fantasy film festivals all over the world, and then sat on a shelf for years waiting for a Halloween when the latest Saw did not rear its ugly head (I can only assume.) It’s an anthology, easily the best of its kind since the orginal Creepshow, and features some pretty fantastic performances from a number of recognizable television faces and veteran character cats from the big screen, including a darkly hilarious turn from none other than Brian Cox (who is awesome because his last name is Cox.) Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Happy Belated Halloween
Review – Zombieland (2009)
MICRO REVIEW: Halloween II and The Final Destination
Went to a double-feature with Todd and Hil and our friend Shereen. Sorry, no vlog, but here are the Cliffs Notes:
Halloween II (IMDb)
- Rob Zombie assembles a perfectly acceptable corporate slasher picture, but he is hardly a visionary filmmaker. Any movie that starts with a text card explaining the symbollic imagery the director is going to use during the picture is a sign that the director has failed to properly use symbollic imagery. Continue reading MICRO REVIEW: Halloween II and The Final Destination
Commentary #27 – Twilight (2008)
You missed it. You demanded it. And now you have it: the first Film Pigs commentary in almost a year! Who would have thought it was possible to procrastinate so long on a money-losing hobby?
If you love dull, corporate movie adaptations of dull, corporate novels for teen girls then have we got a treat for you! Twilight, the blockbuster adaptation of the bestselling novel series, brings us the story of Bella, a pale girl who is not even slightly interesting and Edward, her vampire boyfriend who glows like David Bowie in the sunlight and has a severe allergic reaction to Bella’s pungent vagina. Additionally, they both have ludicrously manicured and highly distracting eyebrows.
Dull, inoffensive teen angst is the best you can hope for these days. It’s almost like movies are being made by marketing committees that are only concerned about how much money they can make. It’s weird. At the risk of sounding old (which isn’t a risk at all, the Film Pigs ARE old), when you put Twilight next to the teen angst vampire movie of our generation, The Lost Boys (1987), there really is no comparison. Jason Patric would kick Robert Pattinson’s ass any day of the week. And his eyebrows are dreamier.
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.