Tag Archives: Gore

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MICRO REVIEW: Halloween II and The Final Destination

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Went to a double-feature with Todd and Hil and our friend Shereen. Sorry, no vlog, but here are the Cliffs Notes:

Halloween II (IMDb)

  • Rob Zombie assembles a perfectly acceptable corporate slasher picture, but he is hardly a visionary filmmaker. Any movie that starts with a text card explaining the symbollic imagery the director is going to use during the picture is a sign that the director has failed to properly use symbollic imagery. Continue reading MICRO REVIEW: Halloween II and The Final Destination →
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Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Wonderfully Sloppy Seconds

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For amazingly inappropriate horror-comedy magic look no further than Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.  It’s got everything: lesbian biker chicks, monster cum facials, midget tossing, baby killing, and most importantly guys in silly rubber monster suits running around and growling.  Feast I thought was kind of fun, a bouncy little movie that took joy in turning certain horror genre conventions on their ears, but the sequel feels more…unshackled, as if director John Gulager was held back by all those famous Project Greenlight people.  This one is pure, unadulterated shock value, and for someone as desensitized to horror nonsense as I to be jumping up and down in his living room and cheering after experiencing the disbelief of seeing the lengths this picture will go to offend is to say this just may be the best thing of its kind since Peter Jackson’s masterpiece Dead Alive.  If you like this kind of thing and you disagree, then you are a stupid poop-face.

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Wonderfully Sloppy Seconds →

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Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: We Have a Winner!

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Breaking my streak of unwatchable DTV horror, I discovered a movie called Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, a kind of anti-Buffy movie.  Jack Brooks is the world’s worst plumber with a massive anger management problem, and he’s played with giddy, aggravated energy by the likeable Trevor Matthews. His family was killed by a monster, and he’s never gotten past his inability to have done anything about it.  His science teacher (most of the movie takes place in a high school, although it seems to be a night class–all the students dress like they are still in high school, circa 1986, but they are all clearly too old to actually be in high school) asks him to fix a plumbing problem at his creepy new house, and Jack unwittingly unleashes a possessed black heart of evil which possesses the science teacher, slowly turning him into a monster not-so-gently reminiscent of the Chet monster of Weird Science. 

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: We Have a Winner! →

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Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: No Luck Lately

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I’m sad to report that I haven’t had much luck with the horror shows I’ve been renting lately.  Most have been either mediocre (The Tattoist) or lame (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, despite the post-credit cameo by Corey Haim as a vampire facing off against Corey Feldman…which would have made a much more interesting movie than what they came up with) to incredibly overrated by Fangoria Magazine (Home Sick, despite my favorite DTV scream queen Tiffany Shepis’s presence…and a naked presence, at that.)  And I should know by now that Fangoria trumpets a lot of shit they shouldn’t most likely because they probably get kick-backs from distribution companies and whatnot, but I keep trying out their suggestions anyway because they are the only publication out there that wastes time on these indie horror productions and every now and then they come up with a good one.
Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: No Luck Lately →