Tag Archives: Drama
Review – The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans (2009)
Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #2: Syriana
What the back of the DVD says:
Big oil means big money. Very big money. And that fact unleashes corruption that stretches from Houston to Washington to the Mideast – and ensnares industrialists, princes, spies, politicos, oilfield laborers and terrorists in a deadly, deceptive web of move and countermove.
Review – Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Commentary #27 – Twilight (2008)
You missed it. You demanded it. And now you have it: the first Film Pigs commentary in almost a year! Who would have thought it was possible to procrastinate so long on a money-losing hobby?
If you love dull, corporate movie adaptations of dull, corporate novels for teen girls then have we got a treat for you! Twilight, the blockbuster adaptation of the bestselling novel series, brings us the story of Bella, a pale girl who is not even slightly interesting and Edward, her vampire boyfriend who glows like David Bowie in the sunlight and has a severe allergic reaction to Bella’s pungent vagina. Additionally, they both have ludicrously manicured and highly distracting eyebrows.
Dull, inoffensive teen angst is the best you can hope for these days. It’s almost like movies are being made by marketing committees that are only concerned about how much money they can make. It’s weird. At the risk of sounding old (which isn’t a risk at all, the Film Pigs ARE old), when you put Twilight next to the teen angst vampire movie of our generation, The Lost Boys (1987), there really is no comparison. Jason Patric would kick Robert Pattinson’s ass any day of the week. And his eyebrows are dreamier.
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.