“Thanks for taking this meeting. I’ve got a great movie for you. We take Nic Cage and Ron Pearlman, send them to Eastern Europe for a couple months (Ron’s already there, it’s his off-season from Sons Of Anarchy), and have them run around as knights from the Crusades escorting this hot girl in a cage who everybody thinks is a witch and stuff. And they’ll act like they’re in a buddy-cop movie. We’ll put poor, old Christopher Lee in hideous makeup and Ron will have this giant wound on his head that won’t heal, even though they’ve been walking around for months. And we’ll name the picture after that Donovan song so people will think the movie is either a biopic or a car commercial. …Yes, I said Nic Cage. What’s the problem?” (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.