“As long as I’m alive, and as long as I’m rich, the New Beverly will be there, showing double features in 35mm,” Tarantino said. (from The Hollywood Reporter)
He’d already been paying the rent for some time, then just bought the place outright to keep the family-run place going. I’ve bashed his last few movies, but have to give the man credit for walking the walk. You don’t see Paul McCartney taking out his ludicrously giant wallet to save Abbey Road.
A new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It’s hard to quantify just how monumentally stupid G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is, but with a running time of two hours, there’s plenty of time to try.
Based on the 1980s toy line (much like the other wildly expensive and brain damaging Transformers franchise), G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra tells the story of a bunch of assholes with a shitload of corporate money who want to take over the world for no discernible reason and the bunch of assholes with a shitload of government money who want to stop them. There are also nanobots.
The worst part of G.I. Joe is how forgettable it is, even during the viewing. Fun drinking game: every time Falk asks any variation of “Wait…is that Sienna Miller?” take a drink.
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
What it says on the back of the DVD:
Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla) stars as Kable, condemned criminal and globally famous super-soldier in the ultimate multiplayer game, “Slayers.” Human controllers direct each though and move of real-life prison inmates battling in hyper-intense environments–where the goal is freedom and the penalty is death. But when Kable suddenly decides he wants out, his rebellion threates the twisted plans of game creator Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, TV’s “Dexter”), who will stop at nothing to crush the renegade commando in this taut, adrenaline-packed action-thriller. Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer
What it says on the back of the DVD packaging:
Underworld‘s Kate Beckinsale plays a U.S. Marshal based at an Antarctic research station, where the continent’s first-ever murder triggers a shocking mystery she must race to solve before being stranded with six months of winter darkness–and a killer–closing in. Dominic Sena (Swordfish) directs a talented cast including Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt and Alex O’Loughlin in Dark Castle Entertainments’s action-packed thriller. Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #3: Whiteout
Apparently, some folks are so overwhelmed by the special-effects in Avatar that they find life in the real world more depressing afterwards. Strangely enough, I didn’t feel any different about life in the real world after seeing Avatar. However, since reading this article about people being so emotionally affected by Avatar, I have fallen into a deep, deep depression.
On the upside, Jennifer Love Hewitt has bedazzled her vagina.
Via Huffington Post
