Movie Commentaries

Commentary #24 – 10,000 BC (2008)

Audio 6 Comments
poster_10000bc

At the dawn of human civilization, there was this guy who hunted giant cartoon mastodons, was chased by prehistoric man-eating ostriches, and totally fucked up this pyramid. He did this because some other guys kidnapped his girlfriend…and the guy who owned the pyramid made everybody think he was a god or something…a disembodied Omar Sharif kept talking every now and then…

Okay, this movie is stupid, even for a premise that abandons at the first frame any thought of possibly trying to be somewhat in the neighborhood of historically accurate. Even worse, it is boring. Mind-numbingly boring. Somehow, a movie that has computer generated mastodons, saber-toothed tigers, and killer ostriches is so dull it makes you pine for an auto accident-induced coma. Who would have figured that the creative genius behind Independence Day and Eight Legged Freaks was Dean Devlin? For shame, Roland Emmerich. For shame. (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Blog

Double Stiller Day: Do Not Attempt

1 Comment

(via iPhone) So yesterday I ended up by mistake seeing two Ben Stiller movies. His remake of The Heartbreak Kid was on cable and I got sucked in. And then I went to see Tropic Thunder. Both of these were experienced alone, half out of shame and half out of happenstance. While any Stiller is too much on most days, two Stillers is unbearable. Continue reading Double Stiller Day: Do Not Attempt →

Blog

McConaughey To Plant Son’s Placenta In Orchard

Leave a comment

NEW YORK – Matthew McConaughey says the birth of his son will help bring a little joy to others in the world someday. The actor kept the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it in an orchard, he tells CNN’s “House Call with Dr. Sanjay Gupta” in interview scheduled to air in two parts Aug. 9 and Aug 16.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080808/ap_on_en_mo/people_matthew_mcconaughey

Really, does anything else need to be said?

Blog

Well, That’s The Most Infuriating Thing I’ve Read In A Long Time

2 Comments

EliRoth_Bastards
ELI ROTH ON DECK FOR ‘BASTARDS’ – Variety

“”Hostel” director Eli Roth is on deck to play a baseball bat-swinging Nazi hunter in “Inglorious Bastards,” the Quentin Tarantino-directed drama that begins production this fall in Europe for the Weinstein Co. and Universal Pictures.”

I guess one way to shield yourself from charges of being a douchebag attention-whore director who has no fucking business acting is to preemptively cast another douchebag attention-whore director who has no fucking business acting.