It started out as a simple joke. A ribald suggestion that three grown men sit through a movie clearly assembled by soulless corporate executives for tween girls and their sexually frustrated fathers. What followed was an hour and forty minutes of Technicolor horror brighter than the light of a thousand exploding suns. Plus, Jon Voight in a prosthetic nose. For no reason! No reason! It’s understandable doing some marketing-driven junk movie if you’re donating the money to charity or want another speedboat, buy why would you agree to put on a stupid nose every morning Jon? Why? It makes no sense. And can we stop forcing real elephants to do stupid circus tricks in movies? For Christ’s sake, leave them alone. It’s depressing. BFF! (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.