Sometimes we get tired of complaining in audio and video format. This is where we come to post our finger rants.
Finally, conclusive proof that Nic Cage is an Otherworldly Beast! On eBay!
Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host. Continue reading Nic Cage Is A Vampire!
The latest Film Pigs Podcast featured a ridiculous trivia game called Movieball. Here are the actual rules and (SPOILER ALERT!) all trivia questions used in the game. If you want to play your own game of Movieball (and who wouldn’t?), you will need the following:
My memory says these things:
FINAL DESTINATION – I remember actually being scared. It creeped me out. And had good gore, too. And a horrifying plane crash sequence at the beginning. And I remember thinking the lead actor was surprisingly good for a slasher movie and I was glad his character lived because talented and soulful actors are welcome anywhere, and especially rare in the horror genre. Of course, he wasn’t in any of the sequels. I don’t know why. Maybe he wanted too much money. Maybe he’s a drug addict or crazy or something. Or maybe, judging by the way the quality of acting seems to get a little bit worse with each installment, the producers wanted to “go in a different direction.” Continue reading Tonn Slingdog Remembers the Franchises, Part Eight: Final Destination
Here’s my memories:
TRANSFORMERS – There were a lot of really loud cartoon robots with tons of spinning parts that turned from colorful metal walking things into shiny cars for fancy people. I remember being vaguely confused as to why the robots were actually aliens and why aliens might be robots instead of organic creatures of some kind. I say “vaguely” because I didn’t quite care enough to be actually confused. Also, I remember being vaguely concerned about what might have been racism and misogyny disguised as robots and while I remember that the story was supposed to be about robots in disguise because that was in the theme song from the old toy commercials, I don’t remember anything in the song saying it was supposed to be about racism and misogyny in disguise. The other thing I remember was Megan Fox bending over and Shia Labeouf screaming incessantly.
Continue reading Tonn Slingdog Remembers the Franchises, Part VII: Transformers
WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S – I have many fond memories of this film because I’ve seen it so many times. In fact, one summer I convinced a bunch of Harvard students to come to a double feature screening of both of these movies. They all fell asleep. Smart people are stupid sometimes. Anyway, it’s my favorite one-joke comedy picture of all time, mostly because the joke is completely tasteless and only entertains because at no point is it ever actually funny. It’s the genuinely rare “so bad it’s good” comedy, something hard to achieve because bad jokes are usually just that. And this movie, if watched multiple times, will make you laugh out loud by the fourth or fifth viewing. That may be a result of madness, I don’t know. Continue reading Todd Slingdog Remembers the Franchises, Part VI: Weekend At Bernie’s
Here are my vague memories of the big snake shows:
ANACONDA – I remember mostly that Jon Voight turned in the performance of his late career, a campy but high energy turn as an anaconda hunter with an unidentifiable accent who keeps calling this one chick “little bird” and then later is actually regurgitated by the giant snake. I remember the effects were pretty bad, but in a good way. I think Jennifer Lopez was on the boat with everyone, and one of those Ice guys was there, and maybe one of the Wilson brothers, and I’m pretty sure Eric Stoltz was napping the entire time. It was fun in the dumbest kind of way. No nudity, though, since it came during this, the age of the PG-13 exploitation film. Blah on that. But yay for giant snakes!
Continue reading Tonn Slingdog Remembers the Franchises, Part 5: Anaconda(s)