Holding a fake movie audition in order to find a new wife seems reasonable enough – I mean, how else are you supposed to meet women? MySpace? Unfortunately for the Film Pigs, our guy forgets the cardinal rule of dating: Never pick up the girl with fetishes for needles, piano wire, and keeping mutilated guys in a big sack. Happy endings: 0. Puke in dog dish: 1. (IMDb)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
Crank is quite possibly the best movie ever made about a guy injected with a lethal dose of poison who goes on a rampage against his enemies but takes time out to bang Amy Smart in front of a crowd in Chinatown before falling to his death out of a helicopter. No one with any sense of moral decency or concern over the decline of our civilization should see this movie. It is that awesome. Girls in plastic bubbles: at least 3. Redeeming qualities: 0. (IMDb)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
