All posts by Film Pigs

Movie Commentaries

Commentary #31 – Hellbound (1994)

Audio 3 Comments
poster_hellbound

Have you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn’t, Michael Ironside so he can stab him with a magical staff topped with a baked potato after defeating him with karate? If the answer is yes, you’re in for a treat!

In Hellbound, Chuck Norris is electrifying as Sgt. Shatter, a tough-as-nails pimp-slapping Chicago detective who gets caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil. Because a demon throws a prostitute out a window and onto the hood of his car. Because demons have a terrible problem keeping a low profile while waiting for their plans of hell on earth to come together. Which is why you can vanquish them with karate. In Israel. This movie makes no sense.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Movie Commentaries

Commentary #30 – Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

Audio 5 Comments
poster_lawabidingcitizen

Law Abiding Citizen is a movie so engaging, so socially relevant, and so masterful in its execution that Todd had to buy the Unrated Director’s Cut Blu-Ray edition so he could see it in all its pristine glory FOR THE THIRD TIME. Todd has a terrible problem, but we’re not sure the Pasadena Recovery Center has a program for people who are compelled to buy every single plastic and metal disc that contains moving pictures.

The best thing about LAC is that it is composed mostly of long, boring scenes of people talking which get interrupted once in a while by scenes of terrible violence and/or gore. The director’s cut shows way more gore than the theatrical release (steak bone, I’m looking in your direction). Plus, you get to play an interesting thought experiment where you try to explain why Gerard Butler keeps getting to make high-profile studio pictures when they do nothing but bomb (Answer: he’s pretty).

NOTE: This Film Pigs commentary is for the “Unrated Director’s Cut” on the 2-disc Blu-Ray and not the theatrical release. We felt it was important to force ourselves to sit through the director’s true vision.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.